Meddling with Brexit, mulling a new leader – the Tories will do literally anything except reflect on their Covid response
Another week, another opportunity to wonder if the country has slipped through a tear in the government-Covid continuum. It was back in March, you might recall, that Boris Johnson explained we would turn the tide on the coronavirus in 12 weeks, despite the fact that people as clinically clueless as even me could see that would not be the case. This was partly why so many Britons went into a deep psychiatric decline a fortnight ago, when Johnson suddenly dropped the “six months of restrictions” bomb. Given his history of hopelessly optimistic margins of error, that could mean we’ll be out of the woods as early as 2036.
Apologies for jumping around the timeline. Having forecast the tide-turning, Johnson then explained of the virus that he was “absolutely confident” that we could “send it packing in this country”. Strangely, it still appears to be with us. Then again, perhaps we and Johnson understand different things by the phrase “sent packing”. For many years, Johnson’s experience of being “sent packing” meant he was readmitted to the family home in fairly short order, allowing him to make some more promises to break when he next felt like it. If it helps, think of the virus as the sexually incontinent husband in the nation’s spare room. “You have to believe me, love – I’ve CHANGED.”